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My Teenager

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It hit me today…  I’m almost the mom of an adult.

By the time the twins are in kindergarten, I will be the mom of an adult.

Want to know how I figured that one out?  When I was sitting in the passenger seat of MY CAR while he drove us to his school.  Did you read that?  He DROVE me.

Sh**

And now that I’m a little more into my day, and the coffee has kicked in, I realized that my sleepless nights ahead will no longer come from the babies, but from my oldest.  I love that I have kids at all stages of life.  It allows me to relate to so many more moms and stories they tell, but it also allows me to be a little humble and gracious to the stages my kids are each going through because they are all so uniquely different.  Life lessons as a teenager are HARD.  They are beyond potty training accidents and sleep training and positive discipline (or not so positive in my case some days).  And they are not going to get easier.

These are legit life lessons.  I can’t grab his hand and pull him back out of the path of a car or hold him in the deep end.  I can’t kiss an owie to make it better or find his favorite blanket to cuddle.  (Well, I could, but… I’d lose the cool-mom points that I have still remaining).

My child is driving a huge metal object that weighs a ton (especially Betty… yeah, he drove Betty… that should be extra credit).  Mistakes mean potentially a lot of damage.  He did great- he’s so cautious.  My dad always told me to be on the defense, don’t assume anyone around you is a great driver.  I get it.  Aiden will be a great driver and he won’t be the kid that does a lot of stupid stuff (he probably will, but I’m going to play naive for now)- but it’s everyone else around him that worries me.  (Like the lady who was tailgating us through our neighborhood this morning as he was following the speed limit… man, did I want to get out of the car.  I didn’t.  I also only went to grab the wheel once… which I think is pretty good for a 5 minute drive!)

It’s not just physical mistakes.  The heart and brain life-lessons are hard, too.  He had a coach yesterday tell him some not great things (when I thought he played a freaking fantastic game and had two tricky corner kicks get past him… and all the other members on the team).  That hurts.  That stings.  And it’s hard to teach them that sometimes ADULTS forget they are dealing teenagers and that they shouldn’t take their frustrations of a tied game out on them.  On the flip side, he’s old enough to handle that now and we’re beyond everyone getting a trophy or medal for participation, or making a team because they will cash your check you write them (yeah, I said it- if you haven’t entered the world of club sports yet, just have your check book ready.)

And love… We’re not into dating yet (at least I don’t think he is).  And maybe the first broken heart will be his sister’s, and not his, but I’m not looking forward to that day.  What if he’s the one doing the heart breaking?  Lesson too, right?

So I have these toddlers learning life lessons through “yes”, “no”, “that hurts”, “that doesn’t hurt”, etc.  The “lessons” seem so small compared to what I’m dealing with in regards to the big kids.  (even though in that moment with the littles, I totally admit I often overreact and make them really a big deal).  And now I have this teenager, and another almost teenager, that are learning some really big stuff.  And unlike the littles, most of the bigs’ lessons, I just have to sit back and offer support.  I can’t take the lead.  I shouldn’t take the lead … if I did … they wouldn’t learn the lesson, right?  I have no control.  (There it is- my control issues).  I can’t be there to “fix” it like I do with the littles.  The bigs have ground they have to uncover themselves.  I can only hope I did lay their foundation right, and that I did everything I could during those small life lessons to create success (whatever that definition is) in the big life lessons that are about to come.  It also made me realize how important the littles’ life lessons really are.  They lay the foundation.

However, if Aiden and Lucy come to me one day looking for their blanket for comfort, or to kiss an owie, or pull them out of oncoming traffic.  You best believe I will be right there, cool mom points or not.

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Why Accountability Matters.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You know this couldn’t be my blog without me talking about working out/healthy living in some form or another.

Here we go…

Moms need to workout.  They do.  I’m not saying to lose weight or look great in that bikini, because really, no one is looking.  (at least I’m not, I’m just trying to make sure my 3 littles have decided to not try to be sting rays at the bottom of the pool… not lying, it happened).  Moms need to workout the same reasons everyone else does.  It makes you feel better (endorphins?  I heard working out creates endorphins, endorphins make people happy, and happy people don’t kill their husbands… lol), it creates time for yourself, it helps you feel a sense of accomplishment, on top of all the other health benefits I’ll go into another time.

So how does a mom do it? I mean, we’re busy right?  We have to schlep kids around, attend all the meetings, go to work, cook the dinner, clean the house, meet the people… you get it. Working out needs to be a priority.  It’s never going to get easier than right now.

I’ve been in this profession for awhile now.  Teaching PE for 13 years, owning my own business for almost 3… I’ve seen a lot.  I’ve helped a ton of different clients, from students to busy moms, and they all share one common factor in their success in reaching their goals.  You guessed it, ACCOUNTABILITY.  It changes the game when you know someone else is watching out for your success.

People that know that other people are looking out for them to do their workouts are more likely to do them.  I wish I knew why.  Some people mean well, but their intrinsic motivation just isn’t there.  “Most” people are people-pleasers, and they, themselves, want to feel cared about… like they matter.  They don’t want to let someone down; especially someone that they respect or care about.  And creating accountability creates the sense that someone is looking out for you to do this- it will make them happy for you, which will make you happy for you!  Crazy how impactful human relationships can be!

I’m leading this online based run training right now.  We don’t meet up during the week.  We met in the beginning and we are all running a 5K together at the end.  We have this Facebook group though that we all check in after we complete our training runs, and guess what!  It’s working!!  These moms are teachers, work from home, work out of the home, stay at home and are all training at different levels, but they are all finding success.  Why?  Because they know the group is waiting for them to check in every day.  Every run.  So many of them have said they would have given up by now, but they know the group is there watching for them.  Accountability matters.

How do you find accountability?

  • Run Groups- you can find free and paid run groups all around.  Run Junkies, DNA, and FIT4MOM all offer great run programs for all levels of runners.
  • Find a partner- Regardless of how you want to workout (Zumba, HIIT, Boot Camp, running, pilates, etc). find a partner that the two of you will commit to go together and stick with it.  Text each other to check in and stay motivated together.
  • Find a Small Group Fitness place- If you are the person that can’t work out at home (it’s hard for me to!), find a gym or studio that is going to know you by name every time you walk in the door.  They will notice if you miss a few days or a week or two and should reach out to you.  Plus, you’ll end up seeing the same people in class and that, in and of itself, is a great form of accountability.  Find your tribe.  They will build you up.

It’s easy for moms these days to find workout plans online and try to set up a plan to follow them.  Some moms find great success in this.  Others (like me), have great intentions that don’t always last.  However, being part of a group- having a partner- having accountability is the key to making sustainable changes in your workout plan.

Who can you ask to be your accountability partner?  I’m sure they are looking for you, too.

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Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

 

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5 Mom Must-Dos for Back-To-School

School starts here in about a week.

I have 5 kids entering 3 different schools- (note: next year I will have 5 in 4 different schools- eek!).  This is the twins first year in preschool and this is a whole new ball game.  Making sure all 5 kids have their health forms, and we have all the appointments scheduled we need to schedule, and I’m making sure I’m not missing a back-to-school meeting at any of their schools.  I seriously could use a personal assistant just to keep me on top of it all, and they would be busy all.the.time.  Which got me to thinking- we do some much for them during this time of year… what are we doing for us?

While it’s important to make sure your kiddos are set for their “best year ever”, it’s also just as important that you are taking care of YOU.  Back-to-school can be just as stressful (if not more!) for moms than it is for the kids!  Let’s be real- have you felt totally lost and overwhelmed in the Target back-to-school section finding the exact color of folders, highlighters, the right number of markers, and telling your kids “no” to all the “extras” they want!? Or keeping track of all the paperwork and emails from the schools, only to find out you still don’t have it right?  Plus, we’re at the end of summer- and while we all started out with great intentions about “the best summer yet”, most of us are probably secretly… or not so secretly… counting down the days.

The overwhelm is real.

So what does a mom do?  No worries- I’ve compiled a list of some Mom Must-Do’s to fight the back to school overwhelm.

  1. It’s ok to say no.  Seriously.  To your kid… to friends… to the HSO committee (sorry!).  A wise person once told me that every time you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.  What are you gaining or sacrificing by saying yes to something?  Analyze what you are saying yes to!  It’s ok to say no.  (you can tell this to your kids too, they don’t have to sign up for everything under the sun)
  2. Move.  Whether it’s walking, running, working out, yoga, horse back riding, dancing, Zumba, whatever… just move.  There’s this whole science behind movement.  It can make you happier, relieve stress, help you sleep better… the list continues.  It doesn’t have to be long or intense- anything is better than nothing.  (and I mean, I may know a place that offers great classes with other moms… just saying)
  3. Take advantage of Sundays- they are a great way to reset for the week with your family.  Take the time to go over what is happening in the week ahead.  Practices, games, meetings, projects, big assignments… put it all out there and make sure everyone is on the same page.  This will help you prepare for events and not be caught off guard.  This can also help with meal planning!  Have games and meetings all afternoon Tuesday?  Sounds like a great night for a crockpot meal that can cook all day and people can eat as they come and go.
  4. Create a happy space… and go there.  Maybe it’s your kitchen, room, office.  Spend time there alone each day.  Maybe it’s waking up 30 minutes before your kids do and enjoying a cup of coffee or your favorite book or journal and spending time just being able to focus on you.  Maybe you’re more of a night person… spend time then focusing on you and setting your intentions for the next day.  Give your mind time to breathe.
  5. Drink water.  You think I’m kidding and I’m not.  It’s easy and it’s simple and the health benefits are abundant.  Half your body weight in ounces of water.  You’ll thank me.  Maybe not the first few days (or nights!), but eventually you will.  You’re future self will thank you as well.

The most important thing is to not forget about you.  Take care of yourself so that you can be the best version of you for your kiddos as they are about to start the next school year.  Don’t get lost in the overwhelm.  You got this, mama.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

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A New Chapter

So I’m starting a thing.  Mama-Bear is taking over the page.

I definitely don’t consider myself the expert of all experts, but I think I’ve had a little “life-experience”.

As a wife, mom of 5, and entrepreneur… I always get asked how I do it all.

Sometimes I do it all… and sometimes I fail miserably.  So why not learn from my mistakes? Or my successes?  I have 5 kids- all in different stages of life (except, of course, for the twins.  But even they are so different).

I’d like to think I’ve been through a lot that other moms can relate to.  Easy pregnancies, high-risk pregnancies, twin pregnancies, early miscarriages, second trimester loss, breastfeeding, formula fed, first and second marriages, blended families, leaving a career to start a business, potty training, driver’s ed, tween girls, and a child that we are going to have an “alive at 5” party for when he turns 5.  I wish I was kidding.  (It’s a Hard Knox Life).

You can receive all the life-hacks and goodness in four different ways

  1. Follow this Blog
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  4. Sign up for one of our bi-monthly Workshops in Oswego (found on Eventbrite and Facebook)

Can’t wait to connect with you more.  If you have a mom-hack you are looking for- shoot me a message.  If I don’t have the answer- I will find someone that does!!

-Lisa PBL_1273hs